A peek into an Autistic mind—wish I could put this on a card and hand out for my son

My autism makes me do things and I don’t understand why,
I sometimes hurt other children and sometimes make them cry.
I don’t always understand the words you say,
with the sounds buzzing round my brain,
the tiny noises you can’t hear,
I hear again and again and again!
I need the rules to be followed and I don’t like it when they’re not.
I forget I’m not an adult and I tell you off …a lot!
Sometimes when you come near me I think you are invading my space.
I may have an extreme reaction because I feel you’re in my face!
I like to be first at everything and may push you in the queue.
I do not mean to be rude it’s just something that I do.
I like to be the leader and take control of how we play.
I may get cross when I find that you will not play my way.
I don’t like getting into trouble and I want to be your friend.
The unkind things I sometimes do are because my brain won’t mend.
You may see me spin, hand flapping and body shaking till I go red.
It’s just my way of coping with the lack of balance in my head.
I get fixated on a topic and will speak of it all day.
I do not mean to bore you but it’s important for me to say.
So next time you see a meltdown, don’t look and laugh and stare.
The child is not always naughty.
Please be AUTISM AWARE.

Strangers among us!!! (not written by me) Special needs parents

Regular Parents vs. Special Needs Parents

Parents, a stranger walks among you. We look like regular parents but we are the hybrid to your standard engine. Our child’s disability altered us, enhanced us. Many words describe us: resilient, creative, protective, emboldened, sympathetic, fierce and determined. We are special needs parents. How do our lives stand apart from your own? Take a look under the hood and see for yourself.

Regular parents soak in the tub when they want to unwind.
Special needs parents consider a bathroom break a luxury.

Regular parents think OT means overtime.
Special needs parents know that OT stands for Occupational Therapy.

Regular parents know the names of all their friends.
Special needs parents have lost touch with most of their friends.

Regular parents tell their kids to wake up and get dressed in the morning. And they do it.
Special needs parents put on battle gear to get our kids ready to start their day.

Regular parents think accommodations refer to hotels.
Special needs parents have memorized the top 20 accommodations for their child.

Regular parents wave goodbye as their kids run off to catch the school bus.
Special needs parents get awesome door-to-door bus service for their child.

Regular parents judge other moms when kids have tantrums in stores.
Special needs parents say to themselves, “Hmm, I sure can relate to that.”

Regular parents complain about driving their kids to sports and recreation classes.
Special needs parents grin and bear the weekly trips to specialists, doctors, and therapists.

Regular parents kids have a teacher.
Special needs parents kids have a team of multiple people and professions.

Regular parents talk about accomplishments.
Special needs parents talk about skills, as in play skills, conversation skills, life skills, social skills and vocational skills.

Regular parents relax with their kids during the summer.
Special needs parents start their second job as home teachers, therapists and skills coaches.

Regular parents hope their child finds a good career.
Special needs parents are hopeful someone gives our child the chance to work.

Regular parents enjoy reading the latest best selling book.
Special needs parents should receive an honorary degree for all the disability books they’ve read.

Regular parents go out for dinner and a movie with their spouse every month.
Special needs parents have a date night with their spouse every…wait, what decade is this?

Regular parents complain their kids won’t eat their vegetables.
Special needs parents are so desperate we consider chicken nuggets to be a legitimate meat product and throw in ketchup as a vegetable.

Regular parents kids go to play groups.
Special needs parents kids go to therapy groups.

Regular parents meet for a ladies/mens night out.
Special needs parents get together at support groups and forums.

Regular parents have medical claim forms that fit in one file folder.
Special needs parents will tell you a small forest was cut down so we could receive our claims.

Regular parents have time to cook a full dinner every evening.
Special needs parents will never admit how many times we’ve picked up fast food.

If you see me at the supermarket,
and my child is screaming,
rolling on the floor
with anger seeping from his pores.
please don’t blame me,
I was like you once,

If you are in a restuarant
and my child throws food and it
hits you in the face,
please, don’t be angry,
I can’t handle any more rage.

If you see my child climbing over
a very tall fence with nothing on
except his hat.
Please don’t call the police,
I only looked away for a minute.

If you see me crying,
as you pull up next to me
at a stop light,
at a busy intersection.
Honk and smile, I need a friend.

If you see me, running down the street
with curlers in my hair
chasing a small child
who runs so fast, I can’t catch him
Help me chase him down.

If my child grabs your child,
or pushes him or bites or kicks him,
or says words that make your hair curl.
Please forgive him,
and me too.

If you happen to see us, walking
in your neighbourhood,
or in the malls, or at the park
Please don’t turn away,
I was like you once.

copyright 1999
– Sally Meyer

IF…..

If he falls to the floor, kicking and screaming, because there’s no chicken nuggets, it’s just his way of coping. Be patient, you’ll get your turn to order. If she bumps her head and starts to hit herself in the face, don’t stare, it’s her frustration. Mom will handle it, she see’s it everyday. If dad is cutting his child’s food, he’s not treating him like baby. He just doesn’t want his son to choke. If she ignores your child on the playground, she’s not a brat. She’s just not good at social interaction. She would love to play with your child, she just doesn’t know how. He may be to big to sit in the shopping cart, no, he’s not lazy. He wants to run around, but his mom needs to shop. She’s not up for chasing him today. If she has to be carried out screaming, it’s probably because of a meltdown. Be helpful, open the door. Don’t just stare or whisper. No, it’s not because she didn’t get the toy she wanted. If it were only that simple. Don’t talk to her like a child, unless she is one. Don’t yell, she’s not deaf. She may not talk, but she can understand. No, it’s not bad parenting. Discipline won’t help. This is autism, it’s his life. Don’t judge him, he’s not judging you.

Parenting a Special Needs Child

Let’s face it. Being a mom isn’t for the weak or weary. It means you may never have a good night’s sleep again and that the drool on your face has a fifty percent chance of not belonging to you.
But the payoff is so much greater than any of the potentially less pleasant side effects of motherhood, that we somehow find the energy – and, even more surprisingly, the desire – to get up each morning and do it all over again. When someone says “Your child will never….,” these moms dig in their heels, roll up their sleeves, wipe the drool off their faces and proceed to Never Give Up On Their Child. Not Ever.

So now that we’ve established that all moms are rock stars in their own right, I would like to particularly acknowledge the moms of special needs kiddos in honor of Mother’s Day. They’re the ordinary women doing some extraordinary things in order to ensure that their children have the greatest quality of life possible despite what the statistics – and some blockhead medical and academic professionals – may predict.

When someone says “limitations,” these moms hear “limitless.”

When someone says “impossible,” these moms think “Is that a dare?”

When someone says “The odds don’t look good,” these moms proclaim they were never any good at math anyway and proceed to believe in miracles.

When someone says “Your child will never….,” these moms dig in their heels, roll up their sleeves, wipe the drool off their faces and proceed to Never Give Up On Their Child. Not Ever.

When the going gets “tough”, these moms think, “Oh thank God,” because tough is better than excruciating IEP meetings, tedious doctor visits, harrowing attempts at potty-training, and atrocious dealings with ignorant members of society. Tough is a welcome break; these moms can do tough all day long.

They’re pushed emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually, yet each day they suit up and show up, armed with unconditional love, hope, and a fierce defiance towards anyone dumb enough to tell them their child CAN’T orWON’T or DOESN’T.

In short, these are the moms you want around when the doodie hits the fan. I guarantee you they’ll have heavy duty disinfectant wipes and won’t get grossed out during clean up. Because they aren’t just rock stars; they’re rocks.

Now, find one you know, and tell her what a great job she’s doing. Tell her how much you look up to her, how she’s helping to pave the way for a more tolerant, loving, accepting society, how the love she has for her special needs child radiates from the inside out, makes her glow, makes you smile, gives you goose bumps.

And watch as she blushes gently, looks at you like you’re crazy for saying all of those things, and quietly informs you that she couldn’t imagine her life any other way; that the start aligned in just the right place the day her child came into her life. Listen as she tells you that her existence finally makes sense, that she’s learned more from her child than she could possibly teach him, that her days and nights are filled with a clarity and gratitude she never thought possible.

It’s true. Parenting a special needs child isn’t for the faint of heart; it requires a heart that’s capable of containing all of the love and happiness that comes with this blessed role.

It’s enormously complex and profoundly simple all at the same time.

It leaves us breathless with joy and hungry for more.

It consumes us and claims us and makes us whole.

It’s the beginning and the middle and the end.

It’s taught us we’re stronger than we ever thought possible.

It’s given us the kind of perspective on life that all the money in the world can’t buy.

It’s made us who we are, and who we are is pretty fantastic.

– via ocregister.com

I am the child …

I am the child that looks healthy and fine.
I was born with ten fingers and toes.
But something is different, somewhere in my mind,
And what it is, nobody knows.
I am the child that struggles in school,
Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.
They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try —
But I don’t seem to know where to start.
I am the child that won’t wear the clothes
which hurt me or bother my feet.
I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells, and tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.
I am the child that can’t catch the ball
And runs with an awkward gait.
I am the one chosen last on the team
And I cringe as I stand there and wait.
I am the child with whom no one will play —
The one that gets bullied and teased
I try to fit in and I want to be liked,
But nothing I do seems to please.
I am the child that tantrums and freaks
Over things that seem petty and trite.
You’ll never know how I panic inside,
When I’m lost in my anger and fright.
I am the child that fidgets and squirms
Though I’m told to sit still and be good.
Do you think that I choose to be out of control?
Don’t you know that I would if I could?
I am the child with the broken heart
Though I act like I don’t really care.
Perhaps there’s a reason I’m made this way —
Some message I’m sent to share.
For I am the child that needs to be loved
And accepted and valued too.
I am the child that is misunderstood.
I am different – but look just like you.’

– Kathy Winters

So Far so good

We are in the middle of week 2 of homeschooling and so far so good! It really amazes me my sons levels are so low. What have they been doing for 3 yrs of public school??? My son is not by far slow either. He picks up on things very easily, it is just getting him to sit and do his work. All of which we can accomplish in about 2 hours. Right now I have him doing Math, Science, Language Arts, Spelling and of course Reading. He is doing really good and I think the biggest challenge is me adjusting to having no “time off”. Hopefully it will continue on this route!

‎10 Things My Autistic Kids Wished You Knew

‎10 Things My Autistic Kids Wished You Knew.

1. I’m sorry I have fits but I’m not a spoiled brat. I’m just so much younger on the inside than I am on the outside.

2. I’m easily overwhelmed because I see and hear everything. I hear the lights hum and clock tick. Everything is so loud it makes my head hurt all the time and my eyes hurt from all the bright lights.

3. I’m not stupid, I’m actually very smart. I just don’t learn the way you want me to. Please learn about Autism so you know how to help me better understand what you are trying to teach.

4. Please don’t be mad at mommy and daddy because we don’t come over for holidays or birthdays. They really want to go but I don’t do well at another person’s house. It’s too overwhelming for me and they know that. They don’t go because they love me, NOT because they don’t like you.

5. Please have patience with me. I try really hard to make good decisions but I can be very impulsive at times.

6. Yes, I have Autism but that doesn’t mean I’m less of a person because of it. If anything, I’m actually more of a person in spite of it.

7. My house might be messy sometimes. It’s because my mommy and daddy spend all their time trying to find new ways to help me or teach my brother to talk..

8. Just because I can’t talk doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you are saying. My feelings can be hurt just like yours.

9. I wish my mommy and daddy knew how much I love them. I have a really hard time with emotions and I don’t always like to be touched. But I love them more than anything in the world, even more then my Lego’s.

10. I know I can be frustrating but don’t tell me I won’t amount to anything because I have Autism. If you love and support me I WILL do great things in my life in spite of my challenges.

– lostandtired.com

Special Needs Mom

SPECIAL NEEDS MOMS – A look inside.

You may think us “special moms” have it pretty rough.
We have no choice. We just manage life when things get really tough.
We’ve made it through the days we thought we’d never make it through.
We’ve even impressed our own selves with all that we can do.

We’ve gained patience beyond measure, love we never dreamed of giving.
We worry about the future but know this “special” life’s worth living.
We have had days and hurt sometimes, but we hold our heads up high. 
We feel joy and pride and thankfulness more often than we cry.

For our kids we aren’t just supermoms. No, we do so much more.
We are cheerleaders, nurses and therapists who don’t walk out the door. 
We handle rude remarks and unkind stares with dignity and grace.
Even though the pain they bring cannot be erased.

Therapies and treatment routes are a lot for us to digest.
We don’t know what the future holds but give our kids our best.
None of us can be replaced, so we don’t get many breaks.
It wears us out, but to help our kids, we’ll do whatever it takes.

We are selfless, not by choice, you see. Our kids just have more needs.
We’re not out to change the world, but want to plant some seeds.
We want our kids accepted. That really is our aim.
When we look at them we just see kids. We hope you’ll do the same.

– April Vernon